As Americans Freeze to Death, Biden Eyes Fashion Czar for His Banana Republic


While Americans are freezing to death from lack of power, His Imperial Wisdom Joe Biden wants to combat climate change by making a stylish statement. His administration seems to be getting firmly behind calls from the sustainable clothing industry to appoint a Fashion Czar. He’ll give new meaning to the Banana Republic label as he turns America into Venezuela.

Fashion for Fascists

The newly installed fascist regime of open borders globalists are getting behind the idea of appointing “Fashion Czar.” One style-setter blogged out her fantasy and suddenly the entire industry turned her idea into a formal letter being sent off to the Palace.

As Elizabeth Segran writes, Hilary Jochmans, who is “a political consultant” who has spent 15 years in politics and “specializes” in sustainable couture, “read the story and decided to turn it into an official letter.” It will speedily be “delivered to the White House and members of Congress this week.”

The letter was endorsed by “more than 70 experts, organizations, and fashion brands, including ThredUp, Eileen Fisher, Everlane, and Allbirds.” The list keeps growing. Hilary Jochmans is totally psyched about the project.

The concept, she froths, “resonated with her because it gave voice to ideas that had been bubbling in the sustainable garment community for some time.” The government simply must step in and force industry to do the right thing. They seem about ready to call out the national guard for a clothing sustainability emergency.

Without even mentioning leather or fur, “the government needs to address the immediate harm that the industry is causing to the planet and human beings.” The sustainable clothing movement needs a Czar to take command.

“Czars have been senior-level advisers tasked with tackling immediate crises,” Jochmans insists. “The call for a ‘fashion czar’ makes sense because it suggests that this is a current crisis that needs to be addressed immediately using a multifaceted approach.”

Word spread like wildfire

As soon as the letter was drafted, “word spread about it in the sustainable fashion community, quickly swelling into a grassroots movement.”

As soon as some sustainable clothing writers picked up on the concept, “stories were published everywhere from Women’s Wear Daily to GQ to The Hill.” Eco-friendly brands “such as Aday and Cuyana to bigger names such as Rebecca Minkoff and Timberland” started to take notice.

As soon as the idea started floating around the social media platforms, those pesky deplorables were quick to shoot holes in it, like one of the poor defenseless animals they wear the hides from.

Some of them pointed out that Imperial Leader Biden has real issues to deal with, like folks freezing to death without power, Covid-19 lockdowns, and a tanking economy. The liberals claim to get that but insist green fashion is much more important in the long run.

Jochmans “understands this perspective but points out that things tend to happen slowly in Washington, so it’s important to put it on the president’s radar now.”

While she waits, this letter should prod Congress to set up a special caucus to “advocate for more sustainable and humane practices in the fashion industry.” Kiss leather goodbye and your next fur coat will be faux fur made from recycled soda bottles.

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