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Biden Secret Service Vehicles Mysteriously Explode

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Five vehicles rented by the Secret Service for the Biden family Thanksgiving vacation all mysteriously self-destructed in an airport parking lot on Monday. They were turned back in the day before, at the end of Biden’s Nantucket visit. Details are still trickling in.

Secret Service vehicles destroyed

The only theory anyone can come up with so far is that the battery on one of the vehicles, the Ford Expedition, caught fire. It then allegedly spread to the others.

That doesn’t entirely match the video evidence. Only the vehicles used by the Secret Service were involved, none of the other vehicles nearby suffered any damage at all.

Meanwhile, each and every one of the various models used by Secret Service agents look like their engines exploded. It makes people wonder what kind of industrial grade fuel additives the federal government is running through their equipment. It’s not like they had evidence to destroy. This time.

Everyone knows the whole family was loafing in Nantucket and Joe was out terrifying pre-teen girls by leering in windows at them in search of an ice cream fix.

Initial reports noted that the “Secret Service rented five vehicles from Hertz to carry the president and his family, and all five of them caught fire in the parking lot.” Specifically, they were “a Chevy Suburban, Ford Explorer, Infiniti QX80, Ford Expedition, and a Jeep Gladiator.

All of them were parked in a group, facing each other, at the Nantucket airport. Firefighters were nervous as they put it out because “the blaze reportedly spread to just 40 feet away from the facility’s jet fuel tanks.

Cause not nailed down

The Imperial Palace wasn’t talking to Fox Reporters when they called but twitter had all the updates. “At approximately 5:22 am Airport shift staff observed an active fire in the rental car overflow area through the Airport’s Closed Circuit Television System,” the airport stated.

Staff activated the Alert system and responded to the fire in Airport-3, where they were met by responding units from Nantucket Fire Department and Nantucket Police Department.” The Secret Service isn’t commenting.

The Ford Expedition “did have a recall on it for the connections to the battery, indicating that fires have been caused by the problem. The car had not been taken in for repairs.” Earlier reports said it had.

Secret Service agents have been following the entire family around the exclusive island, trying to keep Hunter out of camera view and Joe out of jail for pedophilia. Apparently staff left his spray bottle behind and he started sniffing kids again.

There weren’t any problems with the vehicles used by the Secret service the last time they went on vacation with the Biden family. That was just a few weeks ago, in August.

Joe and his clan love to take over exclusive properties on private islands. That way they can avoid reporters asking them about the family corruption and influence peddling scam.

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