2 Dead, 28 Injured…Absolute Bloodbath


Baltimore city officials announced their progressive urban paradise kicked off the Independence Day festivities with a celebratory mass shooting. The patriotic gunfire left two dead and 28 others injured, mostly teens. This year’s “Brooklyn Day” block party erupted in chaos on July 2 and the search for those responsible remains “ongoing.” Like the Energizer Bunny.

Block party mass shooting

Police investigators insist that they’re really looking for the two guys responsible for a mass shooting at the yearly Brooklyn Day block party. There’s only one small problem, they have absolutely no idea who they’re looking for. Baltimore Mayor Brandon Scott seems to have the speech memorized after so many similar incidents keep happening in his fair city.

Obviously, he notes, the problem is there are too many guns. Solutions like giving his police some money and the approval to catch criminals, then maybe prosecuting them and putting them in jail, aren’t even on his radar.

We will not rest,” His Honor rhetorically thundered, “until we find those who cowardly decided to shoot up this block party and carry out acts of violence with what we know will be illegal guns.

He makes it sound like he’s personally out there with a posse trying to track down the shooting suspects. As soon as he left the speech he went off to lay in his backyard hammock and sip something frosty until the steaks were ready.

Police detectives are hard at work, at least the ones low enough on the seniority list to get pulled away from their family picnic, sorting through “every single lead, every minute, every second of footage, everything that we have to find out who decided to disrupt this peaceful event in this way,” the mayor assures his concerned citizens.

They simply tune him out. To Baltimore residents, it’s just another routine mass shooting.


Armed juvenile delinquents

Democrat politicians are quick to trample on the Second Amendment every chance they get. Taking away guns isn’t the answer. Hauling away the armed juvenile delinquents who run around shooting at people is. The real reason progressives don’t like firearms is because more and more vigilant Americans have been using them to take the law into their own hands.

Punks running around loose on the street don’t care about police. They do think twice these days about taking the Kia hot-wire challenge because it might have a tracker attached. One with an owner ready to blast whoever they can catch driving it, once they track their ride.

At the Independence Day Celebration, Aaliyah Gonzalez, 18, and 20-year-old Kylis Fagbemi were “fatally shot.” Dozens more were treated for gunshot wounds. Baltimore can’t keep a Police Commissioner because of the way they treat them. The current acting one, Richard Worley, notes that “Five of those injured were adults aged 20 or older and the remaining 23 were teenagers ranging in age from 13 to 19.

Four of them remain in critical condition. That’s about as far as the shooting investigation will get unless someone tips off the cops for cash. Officials urge “community members to come forward with any relevant information or video footage that may assist in the investigation.” The job pays up to $28,000.

The crime scene itself sprawls across several blocks. Police have no idea what the motive was. According to Commissioner du jour Worley, they’re still “figuring out whether the victims were targeted or indiscriminately shot at.” They found lots of shell casings but the dogs didn’t get enough to track anyone.

When the shooting victims started rolling in, even the local hospital got nervous. “We didn’t know if we were safe. We didn’t know if the shooter or shooters were right outside of our hospital doors,” relates Dr. Hania Habeeb.  They went on instant lockdown.


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